When I was 18 and knew everything

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Ah yes, when I was 18. I turned 18 in November of 2011. That’s when I decided “I was an adult” and “I knew what I was doing!”. In fact just two days after turning 18 I decided to go buy a car on my own. Not just a car parked in a parking lot with the usual “for sale” sign in all the windows, but a car from a dealership. This is where I started making some poor choices. I found a car I could afford, cause ya know I was working two jobs and attending my senior year of high school, I had it all figured out. So I thought. The car was a 2005 Silver Dodge Neon. No it wasn’t the most expensive car out there but at 18 and getting a loan for $9,000 I thought I had it made in the shade. This car was PERFECT.

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Heading to one of my two jobs I stopped at a gas station just a few blocks from where I was working to get something for dinner. This was right after leaving the dealership. I turned off the car, strolled inside, bought a sandwich and some chips, and headed back out to my beautiful new car. I plop into the driver’s seat and grasp my keys. I put the key in the ignition, my anticipation was through the roof, I couldn’t wait to pull up to work as the youngest worker with a brand new car! I turned the key. Nothing. I mean nothing happened. The brand new car I was so sure was perfect didn’t start. So I did what any reasonable 18 year old would do I called the dealership and began to vocally express my frustrations. I was beyond frustrated! I mean I had been taking not just Auto I in school but I was in Auto II this year and for sure I knew everything! This car had NOTHING wrong with it when I looked at the dealership! The dealership ended up towing the car back to their shop and checking it over. It started right up for them and over the next few weeks the car continued to, when it felt like it, not start. This usually happened when I was leaving school and heading to work. Each time the dealership towed it and checked it over nothing was wrong.

After a few weeks of headache my mom’s boyfriend at the time (lets call him Steve) had sent a very opinionated email to the corporate office of the dealership. After weeks of fighting with them and arguing about getting a rental car from them, corporate helped them adjust their attitudes. (Remember I was 18 I was always right) They ended up loaning me a car that I ended up liking and in the end, bought for over $3,000 below the book value. I had made a steal! I really did know everything. This is just one of the first know it all moments I had shortly after turning 18.

Fast forward about a month. A guy at work, more than a few years older than I, had been flirting with me. Keep in mind he was also dating a gal I worked with. I was flattered, after all I had always been told how ugly, fa,t and stupid I was. My mind started thinking, “She won’t find out if we do anything!” All I have to do is keep my mouth shut. One thing led to another and needless to say he ended up cheating on his girlfriend at the time (more than once). We had even kissed at work one time. Myself being 18 and knowing everything I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. After a few short hours everyone found out and his girlfriend confronted me at work. Although everything was only verbal it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. My bosses ended up finding out and I ended up being put on a probationary period. I started floating around to different sites and met another guy. I of course fell for him right away. I gave him my number and one thing led to another we began dating. A few weeks later my genius self again being 18 and a know it all, started talking to other staff about this guy’s girlfriend and using some colorful language at work. My career at this particular company had come to an end. Thankfully I had another job to fall back on for my new car payment. My new relationship continued on and that is the beginning of yet another story of how I was 18 and knew everything. That story however is the beginning to the story of the rest of my life.

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The Journey Begins

I am a young woman. I am a mother. I am a wife. I am who I am because I have learned to be strong. Montana is where I am from and where I have lived my life. The Big Sky State. This wonderful, big, beautiful state has been my home for the past 24 years. Twenty four years is not that long but I am experienced beyond those twenty four years. I have experienced blessings some people will never get the chance to experience. I have experienced things as a child I would love to believe doesn’t happen to children. That it only happened to me. I am lucky. I met my other half and was lucky enough to marry him. I am blessed with two wonderful little boys. One of which I had before I had met my husband. I am blessed with a husband who loves my first son as his own. I am blessed with a husband who works hard long hours away from his family for weeks at a time so we can have and give our children what we didn’t have throughout our childhood. I have a blessed, beautiful life and this is just the beginning of my story.

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This blog is where I will share my experiences. Some beautiful and exciting, others hard and trying. I am new to this whole “blogging” scene but feel I can get the hang of it and maybe continue to do this for a while. Please be easy on me. I have been out of the classroom too long and I am sure I will be making plenty of grammar and punctuation mistakes. I am starting this site in hopes of reaching others and inspiring others. I have not always been happy and who am I kidding I still have my days where I am not happy. But I, as well as others, need to learn to be happy with the way things are. Stop wishing we had bigger and better things. Appreciate the little things in life. The roof over our heads, the sound of little footsteps on the hardwood floors at 6:30am on a Saturday, the sound of babbling coming through the baby monitor, the warmth of the person you love lying next to you in bed. I feel these are only some of the little things in life I hope to appreciate more through sharing my experiences with you all.

My only hope for this blog is to inspire others. Inspire people to appreciate the little things in life. To reach out to those in need. Inspire other young adults or teenagers going through similar experiences. Inspire and open the eyes of those working in child welfare. I hope to have people share and follow my story. Use it to better themselves or to help someone else work through their problems. I hope my story can reach others in various ways that matter the most to them. Impact. I really just want to make an impact on people’s lives. Please follow me through my journey. Though it will not always be in chronological order, they will all tell a part of my story and help shape me and who I am today. My story isn’t the prettiest but man does it have some spectacular moments I will cherish forever. I am a mother, I am a wife, and I am strong.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton